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By the end of the song, she ameliorates her frustration by opting to “grit my teeth and try to act deserving/When I know there is nowhere I can hide from your humiliating grace.”Ī direct thematic line runs from the album’s first full song, “Appointments,” to “Claws in Your Back”’s riveting finish. On “Happy to Be Here,” she confronts her maker directly: “I was just wondering if there’s any way that you made a mistake… I heard there’s a fix for everything/Then why/Then why/Then why not me?” Her voice climbs each time she repeats the question, until it breaks and hangs in the air around her.
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“The harder I swim, the faster I sink,” she repeats toward the end of “Sour Breath,” her voice building to a scream she throttles through a distorted microphone. Whomever she’s addressing in a given moment, she dreads their rejection constantly-even on the title track and “Shadowboxing,” where the only person she’s struggling with is herself.īaker often sounded defeated or apologetic on Sprained Ankle, couching her dejection in the language of physical injury-a metaphor she extends through “Televangelist” with the couplet, “I’m an amputee with a phantom touch/Leaning on an invisible crutch.” Elsewhere, though, she begins to sound defiant, as though with enough rage she could finally beat back her sadness.
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The “you” Baker sings to is sometimes God, like before, but also sometimes a romantic partner or friend she feels she’s disappointing.
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Though the album still centers on her voice, guitar, and piano, she’s got more company this time, both in the form of additional personnel ( Sorority Noise’s Cameron Boucher plays woodwinds on “ Appointments” and “Over,” and Camille Faulkner lends strings to five tracks) and new characters in the lyrics. “There’s more whiskey than blood in my veins,” Baker sang over sparse piano chords on that album’s closer “Go Home,” “more tar than air in my lungs.” On Turn Out the Lights, Baker reckons with the ghosts that follow her even into sobriety. The fragile, gentle songs on Sprained Ankle played like an open diary of mental illness and substance abuse, with an ember of faith flickering at its core.
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If that “stay” stuns beyond anything Baker’s ever recorded, it’s only because she fought so hard to get there.
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